Updated: Mar 30, 2020
"When the oak is felled the whole forest echoes with it fall, but a hundred acorns are sown in silence by an unnoticed breeze"
This quote by Thomas Carlyle speaks volume in the power of closed doors and rejection.
When we are going through another season, transition or level in our life, we hear a sound that can come out of no where, its very abrupt, loud and surprising. This sound may push us to question our abilities, worth, adequacy, and sometimes even God. This sound can sometimes even make us lose hope and faith. The sound I am referring to is the sound when God closes a door. The door usually was leading to a relationship we desired or a position, opportunity or outcome we were hoping for; So when we don't walk through it, we can interpret this meaning something is wrong with us, or we are not good enough for what's on the other side of the door. Something I have learned after so many closed doors and being rejected by so many people is that God is aware of where a door would've led us or where that "yes" would've brought to our life and therefore the door was not opened for our protection. Some doors are kept closed to keep us available for something bigger and better. It doesn't seem that way while we are on the other side of the door knocking to still get in; but all things happen for our good.
The quote above by Thomas Carlyle reminds us that when a door closes there are other doors being opened that we are not even aware of and in divine timing it will be revealed just why the door we were hoping for didn't open. And more times than not, you'll be glad it was closed.
God always has something bigger and better for you and walking through a specific door may limit you or present you with some type of commitment that may hinder the true opportunity that's waiting for you or the person that God has waiting for you.
If God wants a door open for you God will knock it off the hinges and there's nothing anyone can do to close it. But only the doors meant for you.
Do you find yourself trying to pick lock a closed door? What about pulling on a door knob that God is trying to close? What happens when you are pulling back and forth on a door to open it and it is released by the person on the other side? You can lose your footing and go flying backwards. That is exactly what can happen when you go through a door that was closed for your protection; you can get hurt and find yourself falling backwards because of it.
Its time to stop looking at closed doors and rejection as negative things. It can sting when someone refuse our affection or when an idea is dismissed or an opportunity is not given but it doesn't have to affect how you feel about yourself. It doesn't have to affect your self-confidence. It doesn't have to affect how you show up in the world. Why? Because The only way rejection can hurt and make us question our worth is if we already question our worth. What does it mean to you when someone you want doesn't want you? What if the job you applied for, didn't hire you? What does it mean to you when someone rejects your ideas, your creativity, your voice, your contribution to the world, your growth, your efforts, or your opinions? Does it make you feel inadequate? Does it make you feel unworthy? Does it make you feel like a failure? Ask yourself if the fear of people's nonvalidation and negative opinions affect how you show up for yourself. Many people are sitting on great ideas and creative visions because they are afraid of judgement and criticism from other people.
We spend so much time asking ourselves "What do I need to do or not do so that I don’t get rejected?" However, this is the wrong question to be asking because the more you become who you were destined to be and the more you become a better version of yourself, you can guarantee there are going to be people in this world that are going to reject it, ignore it or simply dislike it. But guess what you can’t control that. You can only control what feelings it elicits in you once this rejection is thrown at you. How rejection affects you will solely depend on your self-confidence and how you view yourself. And the only way you can prevent rejection is if you stay silent and hide from the world as to not step foot outside of your comfort zone. If you want to avoid rejection, simply hide yourself because people can’t reject you if they can’t see you. Then ask yourself if you are living life to the fullest staying hidden due to the fear of people's opinions.
What happens if you adopt an attitude that you don't care if people reject you? Regardless you are still going to do YOU! What if you live a life not caring what people think? Someone once told me, if you care what people think, that's okay just don't allow it to matter or affect how you show up. What can you get accomplished if you operated in this space? So many things! It's time to be brave enough to be who you are and not reject yourself to prevent being rejected from other people. Rejection is never personal. People's opinion about you is based on their experiences, their upbringing, their limited beliefs, and has nothing to do with you. What people think of you is none of your business. You can't spend your life trying to control and dictate what people think about you. What do you think about yourself? if you put energy into things that only you can control, you will find yourself in a better space than putting energy into things and people you can't control. Rejection is inevitable so if you’re going to experience rejection anyway, you might as well experience it living in your truth. You only have one life, make it count! Your self confidence will soar through the roof when you are willing and open to being rejected.
In fact, I challenge you to do something today you have been afraid to do. Get into the habit of doing something that you love everyday whether people accept it or not. If you get rejected, that is truly an indication that you are living and trying different things.
Never allow rejection or closed doors to make you feel inadequate, unworthy or not good enough. Rejection and closed doors are blessings in disguise.
Check out my Wait on Purpose podcast episode on Rejection and Closed Doors here.
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